I want to be your late night phone call, and your drunken texts. I want to be your desperation. Your shaking and your hands and your whole heart put in my palms. I want your bitten nervous lips. Your jerk of the steering wheel when the phone rings. Your arm around the shoulder and hand around the neck. Yeah? Her? Yeah, that’s my girl. Your proud and your stubborn chin. Your jealous kisses. Kiss until your body is full. Kiss until your hands are brimming. Kiss until you can tip yourself liquid at my feet. Full of heart, mouth full of promises and dirty wants. I want your shoes at the bottom of my bed and your toothbrush in my bathroom drawer. I want your morning breath and sleepy fists over sleepy eyes. I want your thighs. Your kitten naps. Your sullen and your grouchy. I want your fire. I want to be your zenith. Your first point of contact with the sky. Eyes full of sky, eyes full of sun. Your knees and downturned mouth. Your knees and your bowed head. Your knees and your knees and the floor and your goddamn knees. There is a mountain in Nepal, they say when the sun hits it, it is the most beautiful thing anyone could ever see. I want to be your morning sunrise peak. I want to be your mountain girl.
Before you say yes, get him angry. See him scared, see him wanting, see him sick. Stress changes a person. Find out if he drinks and if he does, get him drunk - you’ll learn more about his sober thoughts. Discover his addictions. See if he puts you in front of them. You can’t change people, baby girl. If they are made one way, it doesn’t just wear off. If you hate how he acts when he’s out of it now, you’re going to hate it much worse eight years down the road. You might love him to bits but it doesn’t change that some people just don’t fit.